Why?

I have been dealt a hand that most people would consider unlucky. I agree. And I must admit that I often fall into the “why me” trap. But as I have said in the past, I’m really luckier than most people in my situation. There are times when I wonder why I have been spared much of the pain and suffering that others go through. Why am I still here when other patients die much more quickly? Sometimes I feel guilty about it because I think I am less deserving. I’m feeling that way now. Two of the patients I follow closely, John Hawker and Travis Poll are both younger than I am. They were both diagnosed early last year, more recently than I. Both were candidates for surgery, unlike myself, which indicates their disease was not as advanced as mine. Both underwent surgery and the long difficult recovery that follows. Both were doing well at first. But now that has changed. John and Travis are both going through very difficult times right now, much more difficult than me. I know I’ll probably go through the same thing at some point and I don’t think I’ll be as strong as them. I’m having a tough time being strong as I watch them. I feel close to them. Carry on brothers. Tracy’s Blog (John’s wife) Mandy’s Blog (Travis’s wife) ------------------------------------