If you are reading this for the first time and want to hear the whole story, look under "BLOG ARCHIVE" on the right. Read the oldest blog first, starting with "The Diagnosis" in January 2009 (click on it) and continuing down. The blog you see below is the most recent and you want to read it last.

Monday, September 27, 2010

I'm An Old Man

I never finished college. I cut that short to continue a career I had already begun. I began my career at an early age. That decision worked out OK for me. I got married at a fairly early age, 21. I bought a house before that at age 20. My first child was born when I was only 24. Some people retire from a profession in their fifties or sixties. Some then go on to teach their profession. I retired from a profession involving teaching at age 49. I then went on to practice in the profession I taught. I’m not working now. I am receiving social security benefits (disability). I am living in retirement at age 54. The point is that my life has been somewhat accelerated. And I think I know why. I have very little energy these days. My physical activity is very limited. I have loss of hearing and chemo brain that sometimes resembles senility. After any limited activity I have aches and pains. I've lost most of my hair and otherwise look like I'm in my sixties or seventies. These things are all related to my disease or it’s treatment but nonetheless I feel like an old man. Chances are my lifetime will be shorter than most. But it won’t be any less fulfilling or rewarding. Just accelerated. Please pray for Robbie LaSalle. He’s at a turning point n his treatments. Carry on. ------------------------------------------

5 comments:

  1. After reading your post, I just said a prayer and asked that God send you John to inspire you, or something. I feel disturbed suddenly, grasping for something to say. Ugh. Well, if nothing else you inspire me to try to have more fun and move on and get going, yada yada yada, because life is short, and shorter for some. I feel like I need to do something fast before time runs out. I'm glad that you got a lot of living done by age 54. It's not over yet.
    Tracy Hawker

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  2. I understand completely what you're saying, Jerry. Larry left early, too, but then again, he'd reached the top of his profession, he'd seen four kids through college. He'd seen three kids' marriages and four grandchildren. He'd gone all the places that were on others' bucket lists: all of Europe, much of Latin America.....and got to even have the retirement lifestyle while getting full paychecks since he chose to be on reserve pilot status. Since 9/11 the trips slowed down so he'd have one or two trips a month.

    What was left? He'd done it all AND he'd grown so much in his faith that his joy was to witness to others and save them from Hell. He may have died at 60, but he'd done more than the vast majority at 80. He didn't have to be sick and weak too long, either, only 14 months, and not all of those months were that bad. Those fourteen months he was on a podium with all eyes fixed on him.... His goal was to witness at the Corn Fest each year. Well, God enlarged his territory!

    I have learned to wait for NOTHING. I seize life! Larry did his best to do so after he got sick, but, eventually, he wasn't able. Now, his sister is stage four, so I am enjoying this life while I'm here.

    You know, Jerry, when people talk about death and dying, it no longer upsets me. I now see it as simply a transition, a graduation that we all must go through to get to the very best place. When people move to a wonderful climate, to a more beautiful home, who feels sorry for them? Add to that, the move will be free, no more expenses at all, and there's the stuff we could be envious of.

    Just remember that you'll go at your time and not a minute too early or too late. It may be a surprise to you, but not to God. I knew a man who used to say, "I'll go when God gets my shelf ready for me." One day, the shelf was ready (though I'm sure it wasn't a shelf. I know that Joe's not sitting on a shelf, now!)

    You have been blessed and you continue to be blessed, even if it's out of our vision, right now....and you can take that to the bank!

    Blessings,

    Marilee Alvey

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  3. Now I'm curious - what was your profession?

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  4. Larry... you are tired because your body is working hard to beat that cancer! You use a lot of energy just fighting that dang disease.

    I know its so hard... but you are stronger than you know!

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  5. Wow... I was thinking Jerry and typed Larry... maybe he's telling you...

    YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU KNOW!!

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