Mixed Feelings

I’m experiencing conflicting spiritual feelings lately. I’m not talking about good vs. evil but rather what the messages I’m “hearing” mean. It’s very complicated so I’m not going to try to discuss that now. Instead I’ll discuss what I think are medical conflicts. I’m concerned about the fluid in my abdomen, a condition called ascites. I think it’s a bad sign. It’s also uncomfortable so I’ll talk to Dr. George tomorrow to explore doing something about it. On the other hand, I’ve been having more chemo side effects recently. The last time I had side effects like this the chemo worked well. I hope it means that this chemo regimen is working. I’ve been more tired and weak lately. This morning I said to Terry “My eyes and nose are flowing, and my hair is falling out again. Things are looking up!” I am well aware that the side effects a person experiences or doesn’t experience and to what degree has no scientific relation to the efficacy of the chemo. But I’m not a science experiment. I know that I got the best results when I had the most side effects. Dr. George said that it usually takes two treatments before you can judge the efficacy and tomorrow will be my second for this regimen. I’ll have to wait three weeks after that to see blood results. My plan is to enjoy the three weeks. Please continue the prayers for Robbie LaSalle. He is recovering from surgery, a very difficult process. He's a tropper, has a very supportive wife and his pathology results looked good. But it's very tough and will continue to be for a long time. Carry on. ------------------------------------------