If you are reading this for the first time and want to hear the whole story, look under "BLOG ARCHIVE" on the right. Read the oldest blog first, starting with "The Diagnosis" in January 2009 (click on it) and continuing down. The blog you see below is the most recent and you want to read it last.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Brief Update

This morning I had a PET scan so I'm feeling a little radioactive. I'll get the results next week when I go for treatment. I suppose I could call the doctor prior to that but I'm content to just wait. Besides, I've figured out a way to beat this disease. I've decided to take up a few new hobbies, sky diving, mountain climbing and jousting. I have resolved to never drive slower than 90 miles per hour on the Parkway or Turnpike. I just got a new job as a bungee cord tester. That's my plan..... to die from something other than esophageal cancer. Then I will have beaten it. Carry on. ____________________________________________

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Happy Birthday!

Today Terry became a grandmother. Her daughter Tara gave birth to Jake Connor. Terry will be leaving for Florida on Monday to be with them. That was supposed to be before the baby came but Jake decided to appear two weeks early. Terry cried when she got the news. It was nice to see tears of joy. For the record, that does NOT make me a grandfather. Stepfather, second marriage, several states away doesn’t count. Today was also my daughter Heather’s birthday. Happy birthday Jake. Happy birthday Heather. Today we celebrate life. ____________________________________

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Something Is Happening

One of the realities of adenocarcinoma is that it does not go away. Physically it is a very aggressive form of cancer and even if brought under control, it can rear it’s ugly head at any time, and usually does. And it doesn’t go away mentally either. Regardless of how positive and optimistic you try to be the negative thoughts have a way of sneaking in. Lately I’ve noticed that my side effects from chemo are lessening. The neuropathy seems to be getting better. I’ve gotten some taste buds back. My nails a growing back and I even have some hair growing back. It all sounds nice and to some extent it is. But I can’t help but worry that it may mean that the chemo is no longer as effective as it was and the cancer is coming back too. Tomorrow I go in for another treatment and I’ll see Dr. George. Certainly I’ll talk to her about this. I think she’ll be trying to schedule another PET scan soon so that may tell the story. In the meantime we’ll carry on. __________________________________

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Blah, Blah, Blah

Well there’s nothing going on medically so you get to hear more of what’s going on inside my head. Lucky you. Today I had the pleasure of visiting the NJ Motor Vehicle Commission. I could have conducted my business through the mail and I knew it would be crowded on a Saturday morning but I had no choice because I was too stupid to renew my registration before it expired. The place was packed. There were about 75 people in 5 lines. There were another 100 or so sitting and waiting. I didn’t see a single smiling face. The receptionists (yes apparently it takes two people to tell someone which line to get in) told me to go to line #1 which was all the way at the end. I had to navigate my way through all the other people to get to the other end of the building. As I made my final approach to the proper position I noticed the sign read “Registration Express” and there were only 5 people in front of me. I thought I was getting lucky. Silly me. There was no clerk behind the counter at window #1. My limit for standing is about ten minutes before I start to get weak and it looked like I was going to use up that ten minutes while clerk #1 took her break. As I stood in line I couldn’t help but think how inefficient government is at running anything. If this had been a private enterprise people would have walked out. In fact, the situation usually doesn’t exist with private enterprise because business people know that if they don’t serve the people better the people will go somewhere else. We have no choice when government is in charge. As I stood there getting weaker I couldn’t help but think “this is what they want to do with our health care”. I won’t harp on it too long but suffice it to say I’m not in favor of what’s being discussed in Washington. I’ll be the first to agree that there are problems with health care in this country but the “solution” being proposed is not a solution at all. The major problem with health care is the cost. I would be in favor of certain measures to control the cost such as tort reform but our leaders are not suggesting anything to control the cost. Their answer is to force someone to bear that cost, namely businesses and higher income earners. That’s not controlling the cost. It’s controlling the people. There’s no difference between what’s being proposed and passing a law that declares people’s mortgage payments are high now so to fix it we will make their employer pay it. For people who are not employed we’ll make rich people pay. And I don’t want to have to wait in line for my health care. When I left there was a talk show on the car radio. A caller told the story of her brother-in-law in England who was told he had a life threatening heart condition that required surgery. He was then told he had to wait six months for the surgery. Point made. After the NJMVC I had to go see a woman on business. I had never met her before. Upon arrival at her home it was obvious to me that this was the home of a handicapped person. It turns out the woman has no legs. It made me appreciate the fact that I’m alive and functioning even more. I used to have a friend named Vanessa who believed in reincarnation. She believed that when we die we are sent back to this world over and over again until we “get it right”. When we finally learn all of the important lessons God wants us to learn in life we are ready for Heaven and no longer reincarnated. I don’t believe in reincarnation but the concept of “getting it right” before we go to Heaven makes a lot of sense to me. After all, everyone in Heaven must be a good person right? I think I have learned a lot of life’s lessons lately. Many of them I have learned too late for life. Hopefully I’m ready for Heaven. This evening I read about another fellow warrior who has died from this disease after 13 months. His name was Jimmy. Please pray for him and his family. Carry on. --------------------------------------------------