If you are reading this for the first time and want to hear the whole story, look under "BLOG ARCHIVE" on the right. Read the oldest blog first, starting with "The Diagnosis" in January 2009 (click on it) and continuing down. The blog you see below is the most recent and you want to read it last.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

CARRY ON

Jerry passed on June 2, 2011 at 11:40 a.m. The last two and half years have been a fight for my husband's life. We spent many hours talking about how it would be at that final moment. His biggest fear was that it would be painful. I promised him it would not. We spoke often of the afterlife and that moment when he would be taken from earth and transported to heaven...how it would be....who would come for him....would he be aware.....would he be afraid. We spent many hours speaking with clergy trying to put his mind at rest. He wondered if his Dad would be the one to come for him.....he prayed his Dad would be the one to come for him. I asked if at all possible, for him to give me a sign and let me know.

My husband's last minutes:

He spent his last days in a hospital bed in our den where family and friends spent countless hours visiting. The bed was alongside a picturesque sliding patio door that overlooked our beautiful patio and pool that Jerry took such pride and enjoyment in. His greatest joy was to see people joining in the pleasure of our backyard....our 'little piece of paradise'. As I sat by my husband's bedside and his breathing deepened, I asked him if he was in pain, he shook his head "no". He pointed in the direction of the patio door to the oxygen tank immediately in front to the bottom right of the glass pane. I attempted to give him oxygen but only to have him push it away. I became frustrated as he was trying to tell me something but I couldn't understand. He then grabbed my hand and gently and softly kissed it. I kissed his back. Within minutes he drew his last breath and left us.

As I sit here in his chair that has now replaced the hospital bed, I'm looking outside of that patio door and it's so clear to me now. I believe my husband kept his promise. The following was the 'sign' I asked for: I believe now he was pointing to the outside (not the oxygen) to tell me his Dad was waiting, surrounded by angels. I believe now he kissed my hand to say goodbye, it was time for him to go.

I believe my husband kept his promise and this was his way of telling me.... there was no pain, his Dad did come for him, and yes he was aware of it all, and no he was not afraid.

It is so comforting for me to know he went in peace, the way we prayed for and that he loved me enough to find a way to let me know.

I thank you all for your prayers, support and most of all the encouragement you gave to Jerry. Every e-mail, every comment, every card gave him the strength to go on.

I love you Jrrrrr and thank you so much for sharing your life with me....Trrrrr

Carry on............................