Hanging On By A String

Over the last few days I got PET scan results and blood test results. None of it is good. The scan showed the tumor in my liver has gotten larger and there are several new ones. The same is true for my lungs. The blood test showed my CEA count increasing again. It’s now at 289.5. None of this was unexpected. We knew the recent chemo regimen wasn’t working. Dr. George, who up to this point has never said anything negative, was as negative as I think she’s capable of. She said there will be a point when I have to decide if there is any point to enduring more chemo and if it makes more sense to switch to “comfort care”. I think I know her well enough to know she’s telling me that point is rapidly approaching. She also said frankly “I’m out of options”. Not me! I wrote earlier that I was going to talk to Dr. George about some regimens I had read about which I did last week. Between that conversation and this week’s she agreed to try carboplatin and paclitaxel. I think at this point she would agree to anything I wanted because she’s got nothing better. I’d ask for rum and coke but I don’t drink, so maybe I’ll ask for liquefied cake and ice cream. I only got the paclitaxel on Monday. There was concern about my kidney function so Dr. George wanted to see the blood test results before giving me the carboplatin. Today the results showed the kidney was OK so I got the carbo. Monday I’ll get a second round of each at the same time. Although I’ve never had these exact two chemo agents before I have had their cousins so there’s probably not too much hope. But it’s worth a try to buy some more time. I also have another regimen lined up if this doesn’t work. My only hope now is for one of these regimens to kick in and knock these tumors down for a while. I’m hanging on by a string now. The fluid is back in my abdomen. Judging by the size of my belly there’s more than ever but it is not yet uncomfortable enough for me to go for the paracentesis. Carry on. ---------------------------------------------