It's Going To Be OK

Last Wednesday I had a PET scan, the first one since my SIR Spheres treatment. It was a very unusual experience. During the entire three hours I was at the hospital I felt very detached from it, as if I wasn’t supposed to be there. Normally it is a very boring process, especially the time spent in the actual scanning machine. This time I was very relaxed and at peace and the time passed easily. Believe it or not, I felt the presence of Richard Martin, John Hawker, Travis Poll and Larry Alvey, EC patients who have gone before me and have inspired me throughout. I could also feel my father although he was not actively participating. It was like he had escorted the others to me or was just watching what was going on. My fallen comrades kept saying “It’s going to be OK. It’s going to be OK”. I don’t know if they were referring to the scan results or if they were telling me that it’s OK on the other side. These guys really know how to cover their butts don’t they? Either way it was very comforting. As I said I had the distinct feeling that I didn’t belong there. I was going through the motions because it’s important for the doctors to know what things look like, particularly the doctors who did the SIR Spheres who need data. I’ve had no scanxiety. Tomorrow I’ll get the results. I’m hopeful, but whatever they are I’m ready. I am at peace. It’s going to be OK. -------------------------------------------------